I find White Ninja really hit-or-miss -- more "miss" than "hit", to be honest -- but I keep tabs on its RSS feed anyway because sometimes it makes funny jokes about the Canadian healthcare system. Or hoboes! And then other times it inadvertently summarizes the entire plot of Stargate Atlantis in six panels or less.

In other news, WAYS TO BE WOKEN UP AT 2:37 AM WHICH ARE TOTALLY AWESOME: A LIST

• impromptu bedside rat dismemberment

1. Anon vs Sarah Palin fanboys: proof that the Large Hard-On Collider is warping the universe for greater lols, y/y?

2. Moving shenans, part 3454 of 32598735694: because I can only take a limited amount of stuff, I'm trying hard to economize and not take things like the vast pile of t-shirts which, while full of indie and/or nerd cred, I really only wear to sleep in. So I'm doing the ( pro/con thing )

3. SGA 5x09: ( lolwhut )

4. I had a whole thing here along the lines of dear fellow Canadians, how can you watch due South without cringing every five seconds, but last night the answer was revealed: GET DRUNK. (Seriously, though, this is turning out to be a fairly successful strategy for getting into shows I know I'd enjoy if only I could stop cringing my way through the first twenty minutes -- cf. Farscape: Two sober attempts at the premiere, no dice; one bottle of red wine later, NON-STOP LOL-A-THON.)

5. I am enjoying last.fm's events feature possibly a little too much. In entirely unrelated news, magic 8-ball says: good thing your rent is hella cheap, bitch.

______________
¹ No, really
² No, REALLY
³ Amount of sex I have had with chemists: a lot

1. True story: the other night I barbecued some chicken and had a few beers and then suddenly I was all hey let's remember how to integrate by parts, FOR THE LOLS. And then I dug out my first-year calculus textbook and got down to bsns.

I am so street, y'all, Toronto better watch the fuck out.

2. Re: that Doctor Who casting rumour which has been making the rounds, CAN I GET A Y/MOTHERFVCKING Y. And maybe a pre-emptive AU where the Doctor travels to 1803 and picks Jack Hammond up off a beach in France. IT COULD HAPPEN, OKAY.

3. True story, take two: the story about me changing my journal name to "the TENTACLES of the LORD" goes like this: on Monday morning I was sitting at Starbucks drinking my quad long espresso and listening to one dude tell another dude about the TENTACLES of the LORD and how they FILLED him with LIFE. No lie.

4. So I'm writing this thing, kind of -- the one where John and Rodney drive across Canada (and have lots of sex, obv fall in love have lots of sex while also being kind of retarded for each other, you know, the way they are) -- and it's great to be ~writing from experience~ for a change, but it's also kind of weird because I keep catching myself writing stuff and then being like, no, wait, that was me. Like I'm plagiarizing my own future autobiography, here, dredging up memories from school trips to Winnipeg (I know, right) and family visits to the Maritimes and Cowtown Adventure '08. Not that I don't already borrow from life to a substantial extent (vide supra; I couldn't have dreamt up Cephalopod Jesus in two lifetimes), but in this story I feel a lot more self-conscious about it -- probably because I'm more used to writing things set in (a) space, (b) Wales or (c) the 18th century? (More importantly, I'm not too sure I want to deconstruct the implications of an archetypal correspondence between myself and Rodney McKay. I mean: yes, I'm an asshole and I like physics, but, y'know, let's really not go there.)

Let it just be said, then, for posterity: thissugarcane always eats the macaroni salad.

I spent most of this afternoon catching up on e-mail and compiling "thingstodofortdot.txt" (in homage to "thingstodoforlondon.txt", which, damn, having opened the latter, let me just say: I am SO GLAD I have moved across the country and back before, both because it means I have a frame of reference and because it means there're a lot of things I don't actually have to do again -- for instance, transfer all my DVDs from boxes into binders to save space).

Tonight, I am watching The Magnificent Seven, which I bought myself with my grandmother's birthday cheque because I couldn't find it illegally, and drinking Okanagan Spring Pale Ale, because come October 8th, I won't be able to get it anymore. SOB. (Other things I will miss, although I am trying, honestly, not to compile a list: the taste of water -- East of the Rockies it tastes like soap to me, because I was raised on the soft stuff; London Drugs, store of my heart. My kitty, let's not even talk about it.)

Poll #1254014 OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: None, participants: 6

What kind of car would John and Rodney drive on a road trip across Canada?

MEME TIME. Ask me a question about each/any of the following: sex; drugs; rock'n'roll; livejournal.

Who's the most awesome person on your flist¹?

Ron Perlman:

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¹ Besides me, obvs.

THINGS WHICH MADE ME LOL THIS WEEKEND, A LIST, BY LJ USER = SUBDUCTION

• seeing this Replicator bitch play Edmund in King Lear


• picturing the amount of wt ever-loving f I would unleash on the ass of anyone who tried this on me


• WHAT


• WHAT SQUARED

Everyone, her mom, and her mom's sweater-clad Chihuahua have already dissected both the Atlantis cancellation and Friday's episode to pieces, so I won't really talk about either except to say that in addition to the standard despair and indignation (re: the cancellation, obv; re: the ep I feel mostly things in my pants which I am not entirely comfortable sharing with the internetting public) I feel faintly -- dirty like a Yankees fan betrayed by the home team, I guess? Which is probably more about the ever-decreasing likelihood of the fantasy where I meet David Hewlett at the grocery store and [CENSORED] than anything else. OH WELL. Onward and upward, etc.

What else? I'm reccing Hornblower fic at crack_van next month; I guess that means I should, like -- read some?

Getting Lost Is Easier Than Losing Your Mind
Stargate: Atlantis, McKay/Sheppard, NC-17. 18,000 words.

Late S3, with incidental spoilers for previous material.

Notes, and a disclaimer.

( 'Look,' Sheppard was saying as the jumper door opened, 'all I'm saying is, I think we could get a lot out of a relationship with these people.' )

True story: today my hair has been compared to 1. Amy Winehouse's and 2. a squid.

Whirlwind TV update, because that's about all I have the brain cells for these days:

• Finished Chuck, which was really some of the most enjoyable television I've watched in a long, long time, and highly recommended, even if the lack of fic makes me a sadface.


• Have also watched the first two eps of Swingtown, DON'T JUDGE ME, MOLLY PARKER IS IN IT. Molly Parker is like one part concentrated adorable to one part awesomesauce, shaken over ice with a dash of bitters and poured into a tall, willowy, green-eyed glass. She was the single woman upon whose stunning attractiveness my ex and I ever agreed, and I refuse to believe the internet's scurrilous notion that she was born in Maple Ridge, because she so clearly belongs in the encyclopedia under "Maritimer". (I don't know if I can get behind this red hair business quite yet, though.)


• Didn't totally love the pants off the latest Doctor Who, but considering how stellar the rest of the season has been -- like, before this episode I'd've called it one of my favourite seasons of any TV show, ever -- I'm willing to cut them some slack. Also, it's not RTD's fault he has to follow up Steven Moffat, GOD OF TELEVISION; really, anything's going to look kind of lame in comparison. (Although, actually, there's meta to be writ re: how I think RTD is trying to use some of Moffat's tropes but Doing It Wrong, and that's maybe why this episode fell flat for me? but you know. That's basically the meta right there.)


• All things considered, sincerely enjoyed the, what, semi-finale? of BSG, for reasons not even limited to Michael Hogan being the most incredible badass acting on television today, and am looking forward to whenever the heck we can expect the back half of the season.


• Reason #23458713 to love randomalia: she has just alerted me that S5 of Space Homos: in Space! SGA starts in like, three weeks, WHAT. I was assuming, y'know, October? So now I am making a lot of :D :D :D faces over that.

And uhhhhh I have no real excuse for my failure at photoblog except a) it rained on Tuesday, gross and b) I took some awesome pictures last night but then my camera battery died and I didn't have a chance to recharge it until just now? But some of those will be forthcoming. I TOLD YOU THIS WAS GOING TO END BADLY. Instead of regaling you with further installments of My Cat: An Adventure, then, I'll have to spell things out and say that yesterday I saw a sincerely awesome production of Twelfth Night, set in the 1920s and consequently featuring some of the hottest female drag I have seen in, well, ever. Also a Malvolio so wonderful I could have died. Twice.

Verging on territory I will not ordinarily touch with a ten-foot pole (especially on the internets), but too funny not to link: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack ... of lolcats.

Also, in honour of FORTY YEARS OF AWESOME, have one million ridiculously hawt pictures of David Hewlett, featuring every bad hairstyle known to man and/or the '80s, and all manner of other awesome besides.

(Corollary to the above: randomalia, this one's for you. WHAT.)

Oh, Atlantis. You knew that the one thing which could tide me over until fall would be a season finale all about John and Rodney's eternal gay space love. AWESOME. Thank you. <333

I have other items, but I have to get up at the proverbial ass-crack to hitch a ride in to work, so, later.

( All I have to say about tonight's SGA is: )

Okay, I lied. I also wanted to say ( moar ) and also ( still moar )

Problems with growing up in the city where half of all science fiction TV is shot, part 23658459:¹

Space villains? A lot harder to take seriously once you notice they're wearing lululemon.

¹ see also: "Hey, that's not Caprica City, that's the library where I study for my midterms!"